Month: June 2015

McConaissance or McConspiracy??

The only thing we love more than movies here at CablaGoobla is speculating wildly about conspiracy theories. Lucky for us these two things often go hand in hand.

The other night as I was about to watch the premiere of True Detective Season Two, I was thinking about the distinct lack of Matthew McConaughey, and then about how drastically old Matt turned his career around. This drastic change in roles has been referred to by critics worldwide as “The McConaissance” and has both confused and delighted film and television fans across the globe.

But where did this change come from? I now invite you on a journey through time as we put a (equally plausabile, and by that I mean ludacris) McConspiracy theory on the table for consideration.

Let’s start at his birth shall we? I mean we’re committed to this so we are going all the way here. Matthew was born in 1969 in Texas, the same year that the United States put a man on the moon, convenient… I don’t think so. His childhood was pretty simple, in high school he spent one year living in Australia before going off to college to study a Bachelor of Radio Television and Film back in Texas.

High School Hope - Such a Fragile Thing

High School Hope – Such a Fragile                           Thing

In 1993 he played David Wooderson in the Richard Linklater CLASSIC “Dazed and Confused.” This is one of those movies that is very much loved by film fanatics, so he got off to a really good start! Throughout the 90s he also appeared in “Angels in the Outfield” (classic), “The Texas Chainsaw Massace: The Next Generation” (well everybody has an awful horror movie in their past, it’s a right of passage) and “Boys on the Side” (starring Drew Barrymore, Whoopie Goldberg & Mary-Louise Parker) which despite the strong nineties cast is pretty bad.

Dazed and Confused Era - aka The Rapist Moustache Phase

Dazed and Confused Era – aka The Rapist                                      Moustache Phase

His big break came in 1998 with “A Time to Kill” based on the John Grisham novel. Matthew playe young lawyer Jake Tyler Brigance in the gritty tale of a black man on trial for murdering two men who raped his daughter, sparking a resurgence of KKK activity. So, it is clear here that McConaughey started out pretty damn strong! He was in a few shockers but this John Grisham movie appeared out of nowhere like “BAM LET’S GET REAL MATTHEW.” Things were on the up and up for his career, but as the nineties wore on, the evil monster that is RomCom typecasting starting to awake.

Then came a string of other really great roles in “Contact,” “Amistad” and “U-571” and it was all coming up Matthew McConaughey, he was lulled into a false sense of security by everyone around him. When all of a sudden, the producer of HBO’s “Sex and the City” (who I assume was sitting in a high backed leather chair and stroking a very fluffy cat while sporting an eye patch and smoking a cigar) shouted at his pleb minions “Bring me this McConaughey boy, we’ll make a typecast romatic interest out of him and make BILLIONS.”

Enter the bleakest phase of his career.
“Sex and the City” – Plays himself aka a hottie young actor
“The Wedding Planner” – Enough said
“Freedom a History of Us” (Documentary) hang on.. this actually seems good and he played a lot of interesting historical characters…. maybe
“How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days” – ah fuck, sorry buddy.
“Sahara” – I mean you had good intentions with this, but it turned out terribly
“Failure to Launch” – Do not be fooled, this is not an awesome space movie, it’s a terrible terrible RomCom
“Two For the Money” – Football movie… maybe things are taking a turn…
“We Are Marshall” – Another Football movie? So soon? This can’t be good..
“Fool’s Gold” – This movie is probably the crowning jewel of BLEAK
“Tropic Thunder” – sigh
“Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” – THIS was his wake up call.

All Hope is Lost

                     All Hope is Lost

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past was truly the most awful movie, one of those films that when you are watching you can see your soul leaving your body and attempting to crawl into the other room so it doesn’t have to witness the nightmare. And obviously the one that got Matthew thinking about his life, I mean, he was quoted around this time saying “I got to feeling like, for a few years, I was doing something that I liked to do with romantic and action comedies. But believe me, I noticed there were other things that were not coming in.” We noticed it too buddy, we noticed it too.

After that atomic explosion of shit Matthew started taking a few roles that went against his shirtless, bozo, ladykiller typecast.

This is where the wild speculation gets rolling.

“The Lincoln Lawyer” came out in 2011 and once again Matthew was playing the role of a lawyer in a gritty drama film. Little piece of info I left out earlier, before studying film this guy was going to become a lawyer. Just before starting college he thought, nah this isn’t for me, I don’t want to lead that lawyer life.

Perhaps being cast as a lawyer again in an actually good movie made him feel a sea of regret and relief? The very thing he chose not to study in order to persue acting had potentially saved his career. And so begins our spiritual journey of irony.

Sometime between 2011 and and his Oscar Winning performance in “Dallas Buyers Club” in 2013, something happened to McConaughey, something that remains unexplained but crucial in our understanding of his career.

I have come up with a theory that has zero substantiated evidence, but that never stopped Fox Mulder, and I have no Scully to keep me in check so I am going to go for it.

After his appearance in “Magic Mike” Matthew decided to take a little time out for himself (probably to recover from the shame) maybe, just maybe, he wandered out into the desert. While strolling through the majestic beauty of the outlands, he sat down in the sand, and wept for seven days and seven nights. “Oh Matthew, what have you done” he cried, face in hands while looking up at the burning sun and glistening moon above him.

The evidence is strong.

                 The evidence is strong.

On the eighth day he was delirious, hallucinating about a future filled with academy awards, revered directors and characters who actually have substance. A mirage appears before his eyes, he walks towards it, stumbling on the cracked soles of his feet. Inside the mirage are the ghosts of films past. Standing before him in all their awful RomCom glory, hands outstretched, calling to him; “Cooome to usssssss, you will never wear a shirt on screen again.. come to us an embrace the suuuuuuuuuck.”

But then another mirage appeared, himself ten years in the future, and he grabbed his younger self and repeatedly punched him in the face until young Matthew fell unconcious on the ground. When he awoke he had lost 38 pounds and looked and felt like a new man, he followed the footprints in the sand his future self had left and emerged from his quest. This spiritual journey inspired him to take the role of Ron Woodruff in “Dallas Buyers Club” for which he won Best Actor at the Academy Awards and for which he mentioned (in part) the only evidence I have to corroborate my theory (see video).

Also around this time he really started to go on a lot of weird spritual nonsense rants, which can only be explained by what he saw alone out in that desert. It’s the only logical conclusion.

Next came “Wolf of Wall Street” and then his KO punch; “True Detective.” When I watched True Detective I was so ready to watch McConaughey fail, but every scene he was in was a symbolic “YOU DON’T KNOW ME” slap in the face. He had emerged from the fiery pits of RomCom hell as a soulful, gritty drama actor.

“Interstellar” came along, damn that movie is good, and he is fantastic in it! Combining his love of well written scripts, black holes and sand must have really been a dream come true for McConaughey. Shooting through space just like those men in his birth year, if anything it as his destiny, at the very least a spiritual calling that could only be explained by a dreadlocked shaman, but it has something to do with witnessing time travel himself.

Or is it?

                                 Or is it?

We had all doubted Matthew, for almost a decade we saw him prancing around without a shirt, playing the same worn out, idiotic, awful characters and when we were told he was going to be in a HBO drama we scoffed. But through it all, future Matthew was watching, pushing his younger self to go for it an make a good name, bring great pride upon the name of Matthew McConaughey.

And so there it is, our journey is complete.
MC06

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Review: Inside Out (2015)

Disney and Pixar have unleashed yet another animated rollercoaster of emotion for kids to stare at with wonder while the adults cackle and ugly cry the whole time.

Inside Out is set inside the mind of 11 year old girl Riley as a few big changes are taking place in her life. Right from the get go the emotion of Joy (Amy Poehler) takes the lead and leads us all on an adventure that is the cutest thing I have ever seen.

In the “Headquarters” of Riley’s mind we also have Anger (Lewis Black), Disgust (Mindy Kaling), Fear (Bill Hader) and Sadness (Phyllis Smith). These guys control all of Riley’s reactions as well as the processing of thoughts and general brain admin.

Literally all the feels.

Literally all the feels.

This movie was an absolute joy to watch (pun intended) it is exciting, emotional and full of adventure as well as being a wonderful representation of mental health and that all feelings have value and are important. It shows the way your mind grows up with you and how drastic these changes can be to a little kid, I thought it was beautiful.

To say I cried would be an understatement, this movie (like most Pixar movies will really bring out the child in all of us, they are so easy to relate to and pinch the nerves and bring out the feels BIG TIME, it was ugly cry central while I watched this movie.

Ermagherd Riley Noooo!

Ermagherd Riley Noooo!

All of the voice acting is fantastic, especially Amy Poehler as Joy. Everything she says will force a huge goofy smile on your face.

The writing is genius, as we go on this adventure of emotion each area of Riley’s brain is so beautifully illustrated and clever. From the world of abstracts that is the subconscious to the halls of stored memories being vacuumed up to make more room each location is so well thought out and designed that it will stir feels in everyone watching. It just encapsulates the complex world of thought and emotion in such a positive and fun way, I can’t stress how great I thought this movie was!!

I highly recommend Inside Out, kids will love it for the adventure, and there are A LOT of jokes for parents / grown ups. If anything I would say this movie was made especially for parents while throwing in all the things kids love as a bit of an afterthought.

It’s a short movie though, when the end came I found myself wanting more, but I think that may be because this movie made me feel like a kid again, and who doesn’t want to be back in their glory days of childhood every once in a while.

Here’s the trailer! Even watching this gave me all the feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels!

Review: Going Clear, Scientology and the Prison of Belief (2015)

This documentary was OUTSTANDING.

Academy Award Winning documentary maker Alex Gibney (Taxi to the Dark Side) made this documentary with HBO based on Pulitzer Prize winner Lawrence Wrights novel of the same name. That sentence alone should give you an idea of the brilliance, production value, weight, research, time and skill put into this documentary.

GC01
Going Clear is a brutal expose of Scientology, from it’s creation by L. Ron Hubbard all the way up to 2014. The things revealed in this documentary are shocking, confronting and beyond what I had ever even imaged this “church” was capable of. I started watching this late at night and it gave me the heebie jeebies so bad I had to postpone watching it until daylight. It will get under your skin, give you the creeps while simultaneously have you asking yourself “how do people believe this shit?!”

Interviews with top ranking ex-scientology members including Mike Rinder, Marty Hathbun, Paul Haggis and Jason Beghe narrate the journey of Scientology from a thought bubble in science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard’s mind to an organisation that has a net worth of over $3 Billion dollars.

Dear Diary, today I invented a really insane cult!

Dear Diary, today I invented a really insane cult!

If you like documentaries or have ever had any interest in learning about the cult-like behaviour and actions of Scientology you NEED to see this film.

It is brilliant. Every minute of this feature had me staring open mouthed in shock or crying at the outrageous things that have taken place within this organisation since it’s creation in the 1960s.

There is not a lot else that can be said about this documentary except how incredible it is. I implore all of you to see it if possible because it is shedding light on one of the darkest and most secretive (not to mention dangerous, destructive and abusive) organisations of our age.

Tom Cruise; Renowned couch molester and the "Spoilt Child of Scientology"

Tom Cruise; Renowned couch molester and the                    “Spoilt Child of Scientology”

Through testimonials of ex-scientologists, archive footage, court records, high budget reconstructions, home made videos and original footage this documentary is everything that Scientology hates. It explains the foundations of their belief, the tools they use, how they use them, the lengths that they have and will not doubt continue to go to to keep their secrets safe and sound.

This was a brave piece of film making from Gibney and I have absolutely no doubt that he is going to get hell back from Scientology.

"I'm sure I'll never regret this dictator style portrait" -

“I’m sure I’ll never regret this dictator style portrait” – David Miscavige aka Head Honcho

The current leader of the organisation named David Miscavige is revealed to be a truly sadistic man who will go to any lengths necessary to protect Scientology. The sooner you can see this film the better because I can guarantee he will be making his best efforts to attempt to wipe out any source for viewing.

Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief is out now in selective theatres. Or if you are that way inclined it is also available online, I don’t mention that option often but I imagine there are a few people who may even fear to see this at a cinema.

Any Scientology goons reading this, you probs shouldn’t bother with me I’m really poor and unimportant.

Here’s the trailer…

Review: Orange is the New Black (Season 3, 2015)

Let’s just say I was a little more than excited when the third season of Orange is the New Black was released by Netflix last week! Having binge watched the first two installments within days of their release I wanted to try and pace myself with this one, so I watched it over three days instead of one mega marathon..

For those who don’t know OITNB is set in Litchfield Women’s Prison in upstate New York and follows the daily lives of the women who inhabit the prison, as well as a series of flashbacks to their lives before being sentenced.

The characters in this show are rich, clever, intelligent and this year HILARIOUS. This season has copped a fair bit of shit online for not having a clear story arc. In the first season we followed Piper Chapman (a middle class woman sent in for becoming entangled with rug trafficking) and her personal journey while she got to know the other prisoners and adjusted to life behind bars. The second season saw a villain introduced with “V” and things took a very dramatic turn as things went very dark very quickly.

This year the show returned to it’s comedy genius that we saw in the first season. There is no big all encompassing drama to follow but more personal journeys and struggles within the women of Litchfield, and I have to say I personally loved it!

100% Slaying

                    100% Slaying

The writing this season was so on point, every episode had me in fits of laughter while also feeling deep and stirring connections with the more serious story lines. This is a true writing skill, to be able to have someone laughing and crying (simultaneously in the final scenes of the last episode for me) with your characters and truly connecting and caring for them as if they were personal friends.

There are a few arcs throughout the season, one being the business that Chapman begins work on and the other being the story of Norma and her cult following. Red as usual is up to her matriarchal business and has a very interesting story herself but the funniest story followed Suzanne “Crazy Eyes” Warren writing her INSANE novella while the other inmates speculate and obsess about it. And the very touching and dramatic plots of Daya and her final months of pregnancy and Sophia experiencing horrifying trans-phobia threw plenty of heartbreaking moments and tears into the mix.

LOLZY

                             LOLZY

This season rather than trying to bring all the women together in one big story followed a more realistic path by creating individual plot lines that occasionally intersect but mostly stay within the cliques the women operate in.

As usual there are some stunning performances, this show ALWAYS brings in the awards for the actresses and I think the true standout this year was Selenis Leyva who plays the Hispanic matriarch Gloria Mendoza. She was absolutely brilliant and I thank the writers for creating a story that allowed her to truly shine! And of course I feel it is mandatory to mention the new character Stella who is played by Ruby Rose who it seems, the entire internet is really freaking out over and obsessed with now.

Shameless use of Ruby Rose GIF to get google image click throughs.

Shameless use of Ruby Rose GIF to get google image click throughs.

This show has maintained a glorious story an stuck to it’s guns of showing a range of female lead characters of different races, ethnicity’s and class backgrounds. And although it is hands down one of the funniest shows out there it also perfectly addresses the causes and triggers of crime in a realistic and sensitive approach, not an easy task.

Orange is the New Black Season 3 is available to binge on Netflix right now, here’s the trailer!

Review: Aquarius (2015)

Aquarius is a new detective drama following the true story of the infamous Charles Manson and “The Manson Family” in the lead up to their horrifying killing spree. Set in 1960s Los Angeles the story focuses on the parallel lives of Detective Sam Hodaik (David Duchovny) an Charlie Manson (Gethin Anthony / Renly Baratheon from Game of Thrones) and their followers / associates.

I had very high expectations from this show and they were certainly met! I will warn you this is not a stand alone series and it has not yet been picked up for a second season, my fingers are crossed that it does return for a second season because there are so many good things to rave about here! Also it was produced by NBC so it doesn’t have the extreme level of grittiness you would expect from say.. HBO or Showtime. As it is with many new shows these days the whole series was released online at once, so naturally I marathoned all thirteen episodes within a few days.

Duchovny refusing to age.

                                                     David Duchovny refusing to age.

Duchovny is (as always) a classic in this. His character Hodiak is witty and unrelenting but with a forward thinking mindset that often leads him to helping those around him in their struggle in this cruel 1960s environment, especially a young female cop named Charmaine (Claire Holt). Anthony’s performance as Charlie Manson is frighteningly good, he has all the charm in the world but there is always this underlying dread as the viewer every time he succeeds at reaching his goals, he also has an intense case of crazy eye!

The first episode starts strong, a young girl named Emma is at a party and is “recruited” (seduced) by Charlie and his band of lunatic girlfriends. Her disappearance sparks the interest of Hodiak as well as revealing a wide and rich tapestry of blackmail, corruption and dark secrets. As the story progresses we learn more and more about how far Manson’s reach truly is as well as an undercover investigation by young detective Brian Shafe (Grey Damon) into the gang activity of Los Angeles.

Charlie Manson featuring Crazy Eyes.

        Charlie Manson featuring Crazy Eyes.

Obviously they were hoping this would get picked up for a second season as we see a lot of other investigations done by Hodiak, it’s not purely Charles Manson based but the other investigations do help to provide background on the police characters as well as the political and ideological climate of the 1960s.

As expected the soundtrack is FANTASTIC, it’s got every hit from the 60s you could ask for. The writing is also very good, especially the dialogue from Manson, it’s scary how charming and convincing his character is at times.

All in all, if you are interested in learning about one of the most horrifying  and intriguing serial killers of all time, check this out. It’s well made and this season is really setting the stage for what could potentially be a fantastic follow up. At first I was frustrated with the slow build up of the Manson clan’s story but it just made every action and every twist more shocking or powerful when they came!

The whole series is available online now through Itunes and is airing on NBC USA.

Here’s the trailer 🙂

Ode to Independence Day

The year was 1996, NASA still had a budget each year, The X-Files was on TV and the only way to watch movies at home was on VHS (or laser disk if you were rich) and aliens ruled supreme as the theme for blockbusters.

We were given a gift that year, the epic, mind blowing and revolutionary film; Independence Day.

Will Smith had made his way to the big screen alongside 90s favourite and all around loveable (or hateable) goofball Jeff Goldblum. The tagline was simple, yet effective poetry of cinema;  “We’ve always believed we weren’t alone. On July 4th, we’ll wish we were.”

Independence Day has always been there for me. When I was a child and didn’t know what movie to watch, it was old faithful. The tape my sister and I received for Christmas one year was so worn down from days and nights of staring at wonder and hiding behind blankets at the terrifying Area 51 scene. And remember how the VHS cover had that awesome “3d” image, fuck, times were so good.

THE FUTURE IS NOW

THE FUTURE IS NOW

When I was 18 I worked in a video (DVDs by now) store, I was fired after three days but as a consolation gift I got a free rental, and you know what I chose; Independence Day. Ironically I kept it so long I ended up with a $180 fine that I am pretty sure I never paid. Now that’s what I call a close encounter.

Now almost 20 years after it’s release, if I am ever feeling sad, hungover, lazy or exhausted I know I can put this movie on and stare at it for two hours and have a great time doing it. Some people like to fall asleep to music or a nice romantic comedy, but for me nothing soothes my soul like punchy Will Smith one liners and heroic dog leaps through firey tunnels (not to mention the ever mumbling Goldblum).

The great thing about this movie is, shit gets real from the get go. There’s no boring precedent while we are forced to learn about characters before stuff gets awesome. From the first scene the aliens are coming and within 15 minutes those  big ass nuclear cloud ships are appearing above cities all over the world. We learn about the characters WHILE the world gets exploded.

This was an age where action heroes didn’t have fifteen feet of muscles covering their bodies and huge popping veins. They were scrawny, they wore flannos, they were alcoholics  or they were the President.

May our Children Forgive Us.

          May our Children Forgive Us.

There was no overblown plot with attempts to add a new twist every 30 seconds. Aliens came, aliens wanted to use up all our resources, aliens didn’t give a fuck about humans, aliens did’t engage in debate. The scene in Area 51 where the President asks the alien (who speaks through that gross long haired guy) “What is it you want us to do?” and they fucker just cocks his head and says in the creepiest way ever “Diiiiiiiiiieeee” that is the kind of shit that aliens did in the nineties. They didn’t ride around on futuristic rollerskates, we didn’t have giant robots to fight them with, we couldn’t rewind time to the start off the battle again every time we died. All we had were a group of rag tag smart mouthed bozos, AND WE STILL KICKED THEIR ASSES.

Peace? No Peace. Idiots.

                   Peace? No Peace. Idiots.

So thank you Independence Day, you are hero to us all.

Soon they will be releasing a sequel, set in real time 20 years or so after the original invasion attempt. Bill Pullman (The President) and Jeff Golblum (Dave Levinson, I know right who even knew his name until just now) will be returning to their original roles but sadly there will be no more Will Smith. Only time will tell if it stands up to the glory of the original.

Featuring:
Analogue Televisions
Huge flip-phones
Nineties heart throb accents saying “duuude”
Flannos EVERYWHERE
ZINGERS left right and centre
The winner of the MTV awards “Best Kiss” category – epic romance

And now I present for your viewing pleasure, the original 1996 trailer for Independence Day.

Review: Pitch Perfect 2 (2015)

Don’t you dare aca-judge me.

So, for those of you who somehow missed the majestic guilty pleasure that was the first Pitch Perfect all you need to know is this;

The Barden Bellas, an on campus acapella group are a bunch of misfit bozos who just want to have a good time and sing while Elizabeth Banks releases a steady stream of lols from the commentators box.

Pitch Perfect 2 returns to this scenario, but the stakes are higher after the Bellas royally fuck up while performing for the President, now they need to win the World Acapella Championships because apparently that’s a thing that happens, but logic doesn’t really matter here. Meanwhile Becca (Anna Kendrick) is trying to juggle both the Bellas and a future career as a music producer, high stakes shit.

Misleading Christopher Nolan style poster.

Misleading Christopher        Nolan style poster.

Let’s be real… most people are secret aca-philes, who doesn’t love an upbeat mash-up of popular songs and a simple story every once in a while? Heartless, cold bastards – that’s who.

This movie was pretty funny, I had quite a few lols throughout, in fact I would go so far as to say it made me chuckle. It’s got all the charm you can expect from a movie about a bunch of gals trying to defeat a cliche German nemesis group. However, there is something missing…

The first one was good because they kept it reasonably simple. I think they went way too wide with this second film, there’s just too many bells and whistles and not enough eighties power pop.. I mean.. not enough reality.

For those of you who loved the pseudo-knife fight mash-up contest in the abandoned pool (I know right) from the first one, that same battle style is back again. Thank you Elizabeth Banks (Director and all around awesome person). And obviously there is a large scale singing contest where EVERYTHING IS ON THE LINE.

In Soviet Russia; Pitch Perfect 2 watches you.

In Soviet Russia; Pitch Perfect 2 watches you.

Generally, if you liked the first one you will like this one. It’s a feel good, pretty funny and toe tapping (good one grandma) journey that doesn’t require much emotional investment or concentration. However, I will admit it was a pretty dumb movie.

Beyonce and Nineties hip hop were a major plus, but honestly aside from that the songs were not as great as the first one.

IN SUMMARY
I enjoyed myself, I came, I saw, I laughed, I may have even come close to shedding a small tear. Was it the best movie I ever saw? No, but who really gives a shit. To all you serous hipsters who rag on popcorn flicks, come back to me after you’ve seen some real life shit and then decided of your own free volition to only watch movies that make you think 100% of the time. ACA-BURRRRRRRRRRRN. We all need a break from real life every once in a while.

CablaGoobla OUT.

Here’s the trailer!